My life- Decision in life (2)

Sorry for the long awaited post!! So here's my post on my life part 2, moving back to Singapore. 

If you haven't read, here's My life- part 1 

So in December, after I'm graduating on the 16th, I've made plans to move back to Singapore,

And yes some of you have been asking, I am moving back alone, even though I am really really scared how its gonna be like without have family next to me and supporting me throughout like how I've been over here in Australia, moving away from my mom is the biggest step. I believe though I'm old enough to and I've always been raised up independently. 

Years and years of mom's nagging have brought me and my brother up to where we are today, it's not easy to listen to her stories and logic every single day, but we believe, 'mom knows best'. Hahaha and yes until today, and almost every single day she's worrying about me moving back to Singapore, everyday she'll ask me if that'ss what I want, sometimes she'll show me 101% of her support, and sometimes she'll persuade me not to go.. -.- she's the most contradicting person ever ever ever!!! I swear she thinks and thinks more than anyone and over thinks to a certain unhealthy extend, it's quite annoying in a way but I know it's all for our own good. Her over thinking everything just makes me don't wanna share my thoughts with her sometimes. Though she'll quietly listen at the start but after a few hours or at night she'll start nagging and nagging at how I should be like(bcus she went through hours of thinking n her imagination gone wild), what's right and how I should behave and think etc etc. Not that I don't already know, but she's always the one making sure everything I think and behave is right. She has her ways of 'digging information from me indirectly' and indirectly asking something that she wants to know.. I know her too well hahaha, even though I'm from a single parent family but she's played many roles and always tried to give us the very best, my grandfather as mentioned previously was our 'father/hero/superhero/superman' he's someone I respect all my life and will always have a place in my heart.

I'm quite emotionally driven, and there's not gonna be someone there to calm me down and whine at me to go to sleep, make my bed, ensure my emotions and draw the curtain to wake me up every morning, life's gonna be tough without mom, I admit.

Moving back also means that I have to make my new routine of social life, I'm not too sure whether I'll be used to it again, but so far every time I'm back for holidays for over a month, I can keep myself occupied, but that's also because I'm only back for holidays. I wouldn't want to rely on my boyfriend tho, if I'm putting myself in his shoes, I don't want to make him feel stressed(even is he doesn't) that I'm his responsibility because I have no family (other than relatives) around me in SG. I believe in quality and not quantity of friends, I have a handful of friends that are close enough for me to be my pillars of strengths too, of course I'd be more than happy making new friends as well. I don't exactly know how well I can handle with my own responsibilities and 'stress', paying off rent by myself after I start working, squeezing with the crazy amount of population in Sg now during peak hours, you'll prob see me in buses and trains hehe and if I'm lucky you'll see me in my bf's car hehehe. But as for now, I've already been looking for a place to stay, and sighpie omg it sure is rlly hard to find a place.
 And not long after, nearer to the date I'm going back, I'll have to start sending resumes and hopefully get a 1-3 interview opportunities before I fly back.


8 years of my journey here in Australia, I've had enough of this peaceful place, it's time for some adventure, I'm still young and I think I really should leave my comfort zone to explore new opportunities in life! :D

So if you've been deciding on making some big life plans, I'd suggest you to do it, take a leap of faith. Even though I don't even know hows mine gonna turn out to be like, but I believe that if I want something badly and I know I've made the right decision, I shouldn't regret it.

It's never too late to start making plans, 'never too late to live happily ever after'

Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy

Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only. - So now all I can do is to have that extra effort to study harder and make sure I graduate by end of this year!!!! WISH ME LUCK PLEASEEE THANK YOUUUU

Thanks for reading! Goodluck!!! 



 

-I drafted this post over a couple of days-
I may seem very positive about this, but sometimes life hits me real hard and I just break down so bad that everything seems impossible and negative. Very very emotional.. I'm the kind of girl who's fine one second, then I overthink and depress myself. To the point of going through the entire day remembering everything bad that's ever happened to me.

It'll mean a lot to me if you're supportive of my decision :)  

*Thanks for reading*

Never give up on a dream
just because of the time it will take
to accomplish it.
Time will pass anyway.